For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
industry and stated,

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation'
warning light.

I love the next one!!!

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer
service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language
how to fix your car yourself!!!!

Please share this with your friends who love
- but sometimes hate - their computer

It's an old one but still funny.

Based on today's standards, one needs Administrative Privileges before one could perform anything for their 'cars' and numbers 7 and 10 definitely got me, valerie

And just for the fun of it all, here's something that's fun to listen off Youtube about calling Microsoft -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe5J2t2Cp7g

HaHa!

Man I tell you, It sure makes me appreciate the old days when there was no call waiting, no
pre-recorded messages, and no outsourcing customer service to other countries.

The thing is, many of us in the USA can't understand what the customer service person is saying.
But this actually does go for inside the USA too. There are many spanish speaking people that work
in customer service in the USA and some times I have a problem understanding what they are saying.

I think they need a:

-push one for English
-push two for southern English
-push three for redneck English
-push four for northern English
-push five for Spanish
-push six for British
-push seven for .....

HEY,....when did rotary phones go out of style?

I remember getting this same exact thing in a chain email years ago. In fact, I still have it in my inbox.

Here's another one about LIFE BEFORE COMPUTERS.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
And a keyboard was on a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
And a CD was a bank account
And if you had a corrupted disk
It would hurt when you found out!


Compress was what you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while!


Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,
Pasting, you did with glue.
The Web was where a spider lived
And a virus was the flu!

ptcscrutiny wrote: I remember getting this same exact thing in a chain email years ago. In fact, I still have it in my inbox.

Here's another one about LIFE BEFORE COMPUTERS.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
And a keyboard was on a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
And a CD was a bank account
And if you had a corrupted disk
It would hurt when you found out!


Compress was what you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while!


Cutting, you did with a pocket knife,
Pasting, you did with glue.
The Web was where a spider lived
And a virus was the flu!

Beautiful

That's a good one too.

I'm going to send it to my friend that is always sending me these things.

I liked #8 the best.