Corporate Language:

"We will do it"
means
"You will do it"

"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"

"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"

"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !".

"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"

"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"

"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"

"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"

"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"

"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."

"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"

"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"

"All the Best"
means
" You are in GOOD HEALTH"

Yes here are few:

"We use only real chicken in our products"
means
"We keep the white meat to ourselves and give you the feathers, bones and cartilage!"


"Your call is very important to us"
means
"Your wallet is very important to us"


"You have done an amazing job!"
means
"I will likely fire you in a couple of months before you steal my job !"


"I'm sorry can you please repeat ?"
means
"I really don't care for what you have to say anyway"

"I'm not at liberty to say...."
means
"I'm just covering my arse......"

"Employee meeting at 4PM - everyone in the conference room"
means
"There's gonna be some firings - muuuuuuuuahahahahaah HA HA HA HAaaaaaaaa."

"We've had a very productive year"
means
"Next year I expect triple the results"

"We'll give you a call when we reach our decision"
means
"You stand no chance, but nice try buddy !"


"We will do everything we can to resolve this"
means
"We will do everything to get you off our damn backs"

"Our employees are extremely valuable to us"
means
"It's hard enough to find people willing to work in this sink hole!"

"We will take good care of your money"
means
"We have spent and lost most of it already"

"We strive for excellence"
means
"We are damn good liars!"

"We use only 100% real beef"
means
".....including the bones, skin, organs, blood, eyeballs and guts"


Bon Appetit !

Hi DarkStar2,

Superb, you have plenty of it.

This means that CORPORATE LANGUAGE is very common all over the world !!!

Thanks for sharing.