ySense Customer Care Corner

#1 by Spongesonic18 » Sun Mar 22, 2015 19:31

What did the pecan pie say to the nuts?
PECAN SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE

#2 by The_Helper » Sun Mar 22, 2015 20:01

Wife: Dear, This computer is not working as per my command...

Husband: Darling, it's a computer not a husband...

#3 by numbersixfanisme » Sun Mar 22, 2015 20:13

when a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds
what's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle
I never take an elevator down... That's just beneath me
did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

#4 by oberder » Mon Mar 23, 2015 05:25

Son: Dad, how do you talk to a girl?

Dad: Oh, that's easy my son -- here, I'll show you how

*both walk in from of Mom*

Dad: First, face towards the girl... and...

*picks up game controller*

Dad: ...then press A to Talk

#5 by Nikorj » Mon Mar 23, 2015 08:50

Two nerds chatting in a cafe.

1st nerd : oh boy oh boy was that hot last night or what?,I dated this hot woman yesterday and as soon as we entered my place she just dropped her bra and panties in front of me.

2nd nerd : (Nearly drooling) WOW! what happened then?

1st nerd : then ive lifted her up on the table next to my new laptop.

2nd nerd : Whaaaaat!!! you got a new laptop?

#6 by BouldRake » Mon Mar 23, 2015 09:26

A policeman knocked on my door in the early hours.

"Oh my God, what is it? My daughter is late home. Oh God, no. Please, no."

He said, "I'm sorry sir, there's been a terrible accident."

Sobbing, I asked, "What is it?"

"We've knocked on the wrong door."

#7 by Spongesonic18 » Tue Mar 24, 2015 17:31

Shots fired xD

#8 by The_Helper » Wed Mar 25, 2015 06:56

Boy: Our principal is very stupid.
Girl: Do you know who I am :?:

Boy: No.
Girl: I'm the principal's daughter.
Boy: Do you know who I am :?:

Girl: No.
Boy: Good. (Walks away) :lol:

#9 by BouldRake » Wed Mar 25, 2015 07:18

I was walking past the alphabet spaghetti factory earlier. One of the machines had broken, and had made too many of one letter. The guy throwing them away saw me coming, and started throwing all these S's at me.

That was a pretty nasty excess S attack.

#10 by daviddennis82 » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:31

Want to hear a dirty joke?

A girl in a white dress fell in the mud.

#11 by BouldRake » Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:42

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

#12 by oberder » Wed Mar 25, 2015 15:37

Did you hear about that school that had a kidnapping while in class?

It's ok, the kid woke up

#13 by BouldRake » Wed Mar 25, 2015 15:51

I went to the bakers earlier and bought a loaf from the red headed guy behind the counter.

Was he the gingerbread man?

#14 by The_Helper » Thu Mar 26, 2015 06:16

#15 by BouldRake » Thu Mar 26, 2015 09:40

I was in court today facing charges of telling bad jokes.

I was ordered to pay punitive damages.

#16 by The_Helper » Sat Mar 28, 2015 05:14

#17 by Vholston » Sat Mar 28, 2015 09:27

#18 by The_Helper » Sat Mar 28, 2015 19:57

#19 by The_Helper » Sun Mar 29, 2015 22:00

#20 by papamike51 » Mon Mar 30, 2015 03:11

Too Much Sugar

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.

"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

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