want to ask you my clixsense buddies,,,,how hard is it for you to forgive?

ok forgetting is virtually in possible as it will always be in the back of your mind but have you tried to move on with that other person forward without holding any past grudges?

i do find it hard forgiving,,why?
ok let me put it this way.....when i like someone eg husbands family member,i will be very generous with them,very kind and treat em really nicely but one day something happens and they broke your trust....this really hurts me and i find it very hard to accept and forgive.

i think if i just keep forgiving people will tend to walk all over me,thinking of me as some soppy ,soft mush which i am not,yet they fail to realize their own doings.

in today's society where money talks,only 2 things bring people together,that are weddings and funerals,apart from that no one wants to know

I'll guess that all depends on what kind of person you are.

and the severity of the crime,does that count?

pindokhan123 wrote: .....
in today's society where money talks,only 2 things bring people together,that are weddings and funerals,apart from that no one wants to know

nahhh....i hate weddings especially, cuz most guests are always NEVER punctual

.... and to put it more lightly, its $$$ and gals that brings people together

that's true too ,as you put it lightly and looking at it from a humorous point of view but you get my drift don't you?

im just saying i sometimes find it hard to apologise and forgive especially when the other person is at fault and wont even admit it,,,
there was a quote here i posted which was really to the point,,,

'apologizing doesn't necessarily mean the other person is right,its just that you value your relationship more than your ego'

anyway something like this...

money will always bring people together no doubt that i agree with 100%,like bees round a honey pot

It's way too easy to forgive. Way too easy to forget. It gets you nowhere, don't do it.

I wrote:When I look at my life, and wonder where I went wrong, it's actually pretty obvious.

Mercy.

Mercy is where it went wrong.

My advice to the younger generation - and I confess this isn't your general feel good advice - is to put mercy aside. It isn't worth it. You must avenge all wrongs before they escalate. You must avenge all blood feuds before they spread. You must keep your friends close, and your axe closer.

If you do not, that's exactly what they will do - spread, escalate, and poison every aspect of your life. Mercy is a weapon of the coward, wound into the social consciousness as a "good thing" to ensure "powerful" men never have to face somebody they wronged in the flesh. Nothing more.

Odin wrote:Let a man never stir on his road a step
without his weapons of war;
for unsure is the knowing when need shall arise
of a spear on the way without.

wow bouldrake,that was intense,,,,sound words tho

Hope You can forgive me , but i'm not going to answer this question and hope you forget it.

Honestly ;

It depends on what people have done , some things can not be forgiven sometimes , such as infidelity , etc.

But i would like to be forgiven myself if i've done something stupid and then i try to be generous back on that.

But as i said , some things i just can not get over.

Forgive my bad English , i wrote on American , hope you can forget that too.

zegon wrote: Hope You can forgive me , but i'm not going to answer this question and hope you forget it.

Honestly ;

It depends on what people have done , some things can not be forgiven sometimes , such as infidelity , etc.

But i would like to be forgiven myself if i've done something stupid and then i try to be generous back on that.

But as i said , some things i just can not get over.

Forgive my bad English , i wrote on American , hope you can forget that too.

oh zegon your post was so sweet,i just have to forgive you

and the severity of the crime,does that count?
Yes that definitely counts, some just can not be forgiven or forgotten .

Yes

On the flip side, if you waste time on silly little things like who is in the right, and who is in the wrong, you'd never know whose side you're on from one minute to the next.

It doesn't matter what you're dealing with, it matters who you're dealing with.

Complete and total betrayal is okay from some people, it doesn't need forgiving, forgetting, or mercy. If you've already chosen your side, it just doesn't matter.

Others...others make me stand by my previous comment.

I'm a very forgiving person. It means I do not always win, and sometimes I get taken advantage of, but being able to forgive & forget means that I can put things behind me and move on with my life without bitterness eating away my insides.

We cannot change the past, so why continue living in it? Sometimes we need to move on (as hard as it may seem to do).

Forgive & forget does not mean literally wiping what happened from your mind. It is about acknowledging that you can't change what happened, and getting on with life without the memories of what occurred holding you back.

I class being unable to forgive or forget as a form of bitterness, and we all know what they say about bitterness. That it is like taking poison & hoping the other person will die, or that it is a cancer that eats the host from the inside.

If you cannot forgive or forgot, then you are also denying the other person the opportunity to make things right again.

Of course, some people are just bad for you & should be cut out of your life, but I've found that, in the main, most people who do the wrong thing feel embarrassed & ashamed that they have let the other person down & want to right the wrong. That requires forgiveness from the wronged person.

Always forgive, that is for your own well being
Never forget, or you leave yourself open again

SeldomSeen wrote: Always forgive, that is for your own well being
Never forget, or you leave yourself open again

very nicely put my friend

seaeagle wrote: I'm a very forgiving person. It means I do not always win, and sometimes I get taken advantage of, but being able to forgive & forget means that I can put things behind me and move on with my life without bitterness eating away my insides.

We cannot change the past, so why continue living in it? Sometimes we need to move on (as hard as it may seem to do).

Forgive & forget does not mean literally wiping what happened from your mind. It is about acknowledging that you can't change what happened, and getting on with life without the memories of what occurred holding you back.

I class being unable to forgive or forget as a form of bitterness, and we all know what they say about bitterness. That it is like taking poison & hoping the other person will die, or that it is a cancer that eats the host from the inside.

If you cannot forgive or forgot, then you are also denying the other person the opportunity to make things right again.

Of course, some people are just bad for you & should be cut out of your life, but I've found that, in the main, most people who do the wrong thing feel embarrassed & ashamed that they have let the other person down & want to right the wrong. That requires forgiveness from the wronged person.

seaeagle,sometimes you can tell alot from just reading a persons post and from reading yours i conclude that you indeed are a very loving,caring and kind person.

ever word in your post is true and i fully agree with what you said,big hugzz from me

It depends - some people are forgiving by nature, some hold a grudge by nature. Some people have short memories, some people have selective ones Also it depends on the wrong that was done and by whom.

Our brain is hardwired in a way where we prioritize negative thoughts first and bury good ones. It's much harder to forget what has hurt us than remember good things.

As far as I'm concerned, I have supernatural memory - and I don't forget and to be honest, I have a hard time forgiving too - but there again it depends on the situation. In my opinion certain things cannot be forgiven, I will not give examples here of course, but there are always these things that you simply can't forgive/forget.

Sometimes you are done wrong by someone and as a result your whole life is ruined and wasted - so when you see that the person who did this to you is succeeding and enjoying their life - it's hard to forgive (just giving an example).