We get UFO reports round here every November, without fail. Every time somebody new moves into the village.

They see lights flying across the sky, and they hear no noise. It looks like something is flying, but in a pattern that can't be matched by technology as we know it.

What actually happens is there's a music festival a few miles away. The lights don't look like normal lights because the festival is held next to a large woods which casts shadows in the sky from the lights beneath it. They can't hear anything, because they built banking to act as a sound barrier for the motor way between here and there - in fact, they were refused permission for the festival until the motorway had been built.

There are two types of people in this village. Those who have seen a UFO, and those who haven't seen a UFO, but do remember a time before the A1M existed.

Thanks for the congrats.

My nephew - the one I already had - is getting jealous. It's weird, because he's only 14 but he's a big lumbering man-thing too. I've got to stop asking if this one is the devil, because I used to call him the devil child, and now he's feeling cast aside.

I lived with a girl from Texas once. We bought a house together and everything. I like to tell people we split up when I discovered she was from Texas and not, as I thought (on the grounds that that's where she lived), Arizona. The truth is more mundane, but it's a lie I like to tell (though she was from Texas, and I did only find out shortly before we broke up).

There's definitely three strange marks there.

He's furry, but when I asked the nurse if his horns will grow later, she told me there are lots of anxious new mothers in the ward, and I'm being inappropriate.

I think that means yes.

It's halloween.

My sister has just gone into labour. The child is not called Damien, but the father is, you know, like in the Omen.

Is my nephew the devil?

It's alright for some. Halloween is Vetrnætr for me (which is celebrated a bit earlier in Iceland). I don't get to eat sweets, instead, I've got to make a sacrifice. On the plus side, these days I can get away with a metaphorical sacrifice, so it's kinda like lent, rather than killing a goat.

Now tempted to answer the door, still wearing a balaclava and a crossbow, but also without pants.

If you're talking about klutz, I once got hit by a bus on a mountain pass while I was out cycling, and fell down a ravine. Got up, and walked away without a scratch.

Later the same day, tripped over the kitchen bin, and broke three ribs.

I'm answering the door carrying my crossbow and wearing a balaclava this year.

They sell out of date Twinkies in B&M Bargains. I was going to buy some because I wanted to know what they were after watching Zombieland, but they're all out of date.

Watched Before Dawn. It's not a particularly good film, really, but it's filmed in the moors, and every single location shot included a place I've slept, which gave it a bit of an edge.

Is this a joke thread or a question thread? Because I know the answer...

In 1973, NASA flipped an image of Earth that was taken with South at the top, rotating it to put North at the top arguing that people would be confused otherwise. From there, it became an unofficial standard that "North" is "up" even in space. Same as normal maps - they didn't used to be aligned North up either.

Indians.

I'm not even sure which sport this is, but I've heard constant talk about the Indians from a friend from Cleveland, so I've kinda got to go with that.

wendymarais wrote:
Awww but to become a father you had to had an "interest" at one time

Which is exactly why I'm now a fan of burkas!

Unless you happen to be a father, in which case, the only suitable clothing for a woman is a burka.

I didn't know Louisiana was in Glasgow.

Odds are around 400-1.

1 in 14 members wins every day.

It makes no difference where you click, it sounds like a pure rand().

Odds have improved since these figures.

There is a post from jasm78 somewhere containing these details, but I can't find it. Somebody sufficiently interested probably could.

Tasks. Most of India makes more money with tasks than I make from a tier 1.5 country in surveys. The problem is, of course, tasks are spawn of the devil and must die, so surveys are the preferred way to increase your takings...but in raw earning potential with no other considerations, it's tasks - at least for those outside US/CA.