The Muslims are fine. Tens of thousands of them in Bradford, and they've all got Yorkshire accents. Sure, we've had a couple of riots, but not once have they infiltrated the inside of our political machinery and imposed their religion in law.

Now the bloody English, they don't integrate.

Make sure you do stick to the local shop though. The point of getting your number (for the companies who don't spam you) is to verify your identity as an individual so you can be tracked/targeted/sold on better. The overwhelming majority of sim cards are registered to an individual and it's the easiest way to verify your identity short of getting your credit card or bank details. In some countries it's impossible to get an unregistered sim. In our country, it's merely quite hard, since the mobile industry is presently just-self-regulated-enough-to-avoid-actual-regulation for the most part.

Stay away from the phone shops, and stick to the corner shop.

I'm not big on choosing what films to watch, though I do it occasionally. I'm more into watching what the BBC tells me to watch.

Quote:I go by Joe. Call me Joe. Joe is fine. Joe is simpler to spell, quicker to type, friendlier on-screen, one syllable. Michael is two syllables, and I don't respond to it. Straczynski, pronounced just right and with the proper force behind it, can actually strike a cow dead at twenty paces.

-- J. Michael Straczynski

Wasn't my fault - the plans for homemade flamethrowers first sprang up on Fidonet when I was fifteen (which I concede is largely another word for stupid).

Supersoaker + Candle is the way to go. It gives you the best balance between size of flame, and safety to self.

I never killed myself with a flamethrower, but that's a matter of luck.

Oh yeah, I'm really excited. I can't wait for a horde of kids with their skanky parents to come hammering on my door all night demanding sweets. When I was a lad, you were told to say no to any strange man who offered you sweets, or the puppies in his van. I suppose kittens were okay, nobody ever warned your about strange men with kittens in their van.

I feel this was a win-win situation. Children didn't get abducted, and men got left alone.

If you can't have fun without knocking on my door and disturbing me, I think you deserve to be miserable, and anything you enjoy should be illegal. Preferably, with capital punishment.

Just watched I Know What You Did Last Summer. My initial reaction was they must be taking about when I was in Malham, and had an hour long conversation with a gimmer. That is a bit embarrassing, but people talk to their dogs and cats, talking to a strange gimmer isn't much worse.

Poor lass wanted me to open a gate for her. I apologised and told her I couldn't, though I agreed it was unfair that she should be locked in there by some naked ape claiming dominion over her, but that there was a road on the other side of it, and because it's so quiet, the odd car you do get drives like a bloody Italian, so there's a real chance she'd get hurt. She said "baa" a lot.

I told her she could follow the river valley, and it'd take her all the way from the Skyrack to Gilling without a fence in sight, but I don't think she was listening much, and I doubt she ever saw beyond her own little vale. Women are often like that, talk, talk, talk, but heaven forbid you actually fix their problems, and this trait knows no bounds at the species level.

Any road, it turns out the film was a bit different to that. Not a single sheep in it. Not a married sheep either. No, what they did last summer was run someone over, and chuck him in the river, then he got cross and came after them with a hook the next year, but it wasn't him, it was another man with a boat. There was a hat that was somehow relevant. You can tell it was relevant, because the camera paused on it, but it never became apparent what the hat was for. Unless the camera man just liked it. It wasn't a terrible hat, not as good as my fez, but not too terrible either, but given the length of the shot, you did expect it to have greater relevance than just being a cool hat on a boat.

Then they killed another man, and that somehow made killing the first man okay. Seems like a non-sequitur to me, but what do I know? But then someone smashed a window and it was all okay.

In a nutshell, I think they're trying to make us not care that BBC 3 will go online only, and they're doing a cracking job of it.

2 stars. I preferred knowing what I did last summer.

Quote:It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

-- Homer Simpson

Bella Lugosi was doing that in real life long before The Crow.

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Tupac Shakur doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

Dunno if it's 24%, don't remember - but there does tend to be a bonus.

It's not for the month, it's for a few days over Christmas - and it's very hard to get the bonus because all the tasks and offer providers are on holiday too...

Also, it's a bonus bonus - there's no guarantees it'll happen again just because it's happened a few times in the past.

Quote:That's the spirit. Greg has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me. Come to the dark side, Sarah. We have cookies.

-- Linus Torvalds

Pfft, talk about favouritism. My birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and the only person who remembered was ebay (and that includes me, I didn't remember either). They wanted me to sell the unwanted presents I didn't get.

Quote:Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

-- Mel Brooks

The number of hits required to gain a new referral is inversely proportional to the quality of the traffic.

Traffic exchanges are about as good as banners. Banners win though, because it's cheaper (in time or money, whether you earn them or buy them) to get 1,000,000 banners than 1,000,000 page views..

Quote:I enjoy travel but I do not fly well – especially if the aeroplane’s wings are rusted, the tail has been attached with vinegar and brown paper, and the undercarriage is still sitting in the ditch it fell into at the end of the departure airport’s runway some 300 miles away.

-- Alistair Dabbs

I just watched Shooty shooty boom boom 'splosion, which I beleive was also released under the title Resident Evil: Apocalypse.

It's shooty shooty, things go boom boom 'splosion, and it's very...what even is this?

The worst bit is I made a special effort to get up and turn the television on to watch it. It didn't just come on by mistake. It's an hour and half of my life that I'll never get back, and I do plan to sue.

We lost our liberty ages ago. Those bloody Christians infected Denmark, and we had no way to stop them until it was too late. They didn't come to Jorvik until Denmark was already infiltrated. After that, the English came in and claimed Jorvik for it's own.

The English fancied an empire of their own which lasted quite a while, but somehow let themselves be subverted. Their children, the Americans, were allowed to establish military bases on English grounds. To this day, American soldiers, American arms, plague our country. 9/11 happened, and since there's a massive foreign army in the middle of our country, we don't have a lot of choice other than to remove the civil rights of our citizens as America demands, or we'll die.

I was born centuries too late to prevent the fall of the Viking empire, but it's never too late. We'll have freedom yet.

In fairness, Heimdallr is a notorious drunk. You can't really expect to keep him away from his mead long enough to moderate a forum.