Quote:On GM crops: I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of velcro, to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles. But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding velcro so it's a bit of a long shot.

-- Bill Bailey

I'm terrible with birthdays. I only remember two. My ex-girlfriend, because hers is the same day as Miguel Indurain, and Phil Ligget always reminds us during commentary, and my mums, because it's September 11.

Wait...are you saying you visit the forum because you have to, and not because you want to?

And here's me thinking we were the awesomest, most fantastic, entertaining hoopy froods on the entire internet.

That's my self-esteem vanished, I'll have to go buy a Porsche now.

Never a truer word spoken.


Edit - it occurs to me this is a multilingual forum, and even people from parts of Yorkshire other than Wharfedale may struggle with this, so here is a translation to English.

A song I sing of the Yorkshire Dales,
That wind from the moors to the sea,
From the breast of the fells where the cloud-rack sails,
Their becks flow merrily.
Their banks are bright with moss and broom,
And sweet is the scent of the thyme,
You can listen to the bees soft, dreamy hum,
In the foxglove bells and the lime.

Oh Swaledale is good for horses and Wensleydale for cheese,
And Airedale folk are busy as a bee;
But wherever I wander,
My old hart yes, grows fonder,
Of Wharfedale where I'll lay me down and die,

Right bonny are our dales in March,
When the curlews take to the moors,
There's ruddy buds on every larch,
Primroses don their flowers,
But bonnier yet when the August sun,
Lights up on yonder plats of heather,
And great white fish dart away,
Where the weirs over the water hang,

By every beck an abbey sleeps,
And the owl is the old prior,
A jackdaw through each window peeps,
And builds his nest beside the choir,
In every dale a castle stands,
Sing, Clifford, Percy, Scrope!
They argued among themslves for the land,
Though fought for the king or the pope,

Oh Eastward ho, is the song of the gales,
As they sweep over fell and meadow,
And Eastward ho is the song of the dales,
That wind from the moors to the sea,
Come winter frost, come summer breeze,
Their waters shall not mind,
And the rain that's fallen when the bold winds soughed,
Shall ever seawards glide,

Oh Swaledale is good for horses and Wensleydale for cheese,
And Airedale folk are busy as a bee;
But wherever I wander,
My old heart yes, grows fonder,
Of Wharfedale where I'll lay me down and die,

Which reminds me of

Quote:
And the wind whips away at my walls night and day,
I’m near constantly frozen and drenched in salt spray.
I’ve been battered and beaten and near washed away,
Here I am, I’m your man, I’m your lighthouse.

-- Traditional Yorkshire ballad (*)



(*) Citation needed. Nobody seems to know where it sprung up from in reality.

With all due respect, stop being a bellend.

Quote:And if you're going to point to other stuff and say "but you didn't nerf this thing or that thing" I would invite you to consider that I also did not nerf your face.

-- Jick

Quote:as far as I know it was never taught in schools

We did it in school. I'm from the other side of the Pennines, but the Skelmanthorpe Flag comes from, well, Skelmanthorpe.

We also did the Poetic Edda though...I'm wondering if I maybe did a club or something, because that doesn't seem like it should be on the syllabus either. I don't remember doing a club, but you know what time is like on the memory.

Clixsense has 5,000,000 members.

Email has two billion users - and that figure is five years old, I'm not aware of any newer studies. Given growth in developing nations, it might even be double that by now.

There's plenty of room to grow yet.

They won't take refugees because they're just as narrow minded as UKIP. Allowing asylum will open the door for their temporary workers to gain residency. Imagine that! Someone might live somewhere! That's terrible!

We don't have enough houses to go round, but actually, we have plenty of empty housing stock, even entire abandoned estates. It's true they may not be up to standard, but a sub-optimal house is better than no house at all. We also have hundreds of thousands of holiday homes, particularly on the East Coast of Yorkshire, and North Wales. Many of them are already open 12 months, but due to planning laws, are not residential. A rational person doesn't say "We don't have houses, we'll leave you to die". They say "Well, why don't we just use the houses we already have and solve both problems?"

Even if we didn't have those, we can still say okay, we can't give you a house, we don't have any. We've got plenty of land though. I can go to the North Yorkshire Moors and not see another human for weeks at a time. When I do, it's normally a warden moving me on because I've accidentally gone to a popular wild camping spot, instead of a good wild camping spot. If you want to come over and pitch a tent, you won't be in the middle of a war, and we won't be hitting you with drone strikes. We don't really want to build on this land - it's green belt, we'll all die if we build over the top of the world's lungs - but if you want to set up an eco village, that's fine.

The answer is never national socialism.

And that's the worst thing about UKIP. It's unimaginative, and defeatist. A vote for UKIP is a vote that says we can't do any better than this, there are no solutions to our problems, let's stop trying, this is the best we can do, let's just deport all the foreigners and grin and bear it. We as a nation, can do no better than this.

You're right, they're not "asylum seekers". That's dehumanising.

They're mothers and children. Fathers and daughters. Sons and mothers.

You're allowed to watch them die, but remember you did when it's your turn to suffer.

Quote:We just thought people in Yorkshire hated everyone else, we didn't realise they hated each other so much.

--David Cameron

It's true, we do bloody hate everything, but it's like the N word. I can say it, he can't.

I've drunk the dirty dish water Americans call tea. Tea is supposed to be hot. Made with boiling water, not boiled water. It's also supposed to be strong. So strong, that the steam contains the LD50 of caffeine, and kills anyone within a four mile radius who hasn't already built up a tolerance. And black. So black that when the tea looks into the abyss, and the abyss looks into the tea, the abyss goes "Wow, you're dark".

It's a much harder question with real tea. I gave that question more consideration than I ever remember giving to any survey question. I eventually said I'd give up chocolate.

And now I've just had a survey ask me if I'd rather give up chocolate or tea.

I'm traumatised by the thought of having to choose between the two.

I'm a libertarian. I don't believe government as we know it today - or it's left or right - should be a thing. I also don't trust people in general, so I'm not an actual anarchist. I think rule should be moved to the level of the Wapentake (or parish/local community if you're from somewhere that doesn't have Wapentakes).

I tend to vote for the left most candidate, but do so as a pragmatic choice, not an ideal one, and there have been exceptions if somebody is strongly pro-devolution, for example.

In a survey, I just say left.

Assuming he's elected tomorrow as we all expect, is Jeremy Corbyn the best thing to happen the British Left wing since the 1980's, or has the despicable behaviour of the Blairite candidates in recent weeks made it impossible to vote Labour anyway?

Quote:Absence makes the nose grow longer.

-- The Doctor

Quote:Speaking of which, has anyone invented Cannibal Chocolate yet?

Ha, they have! (Sort of).

ACUBE - FIRST SURREALIST BELGIAN CHOCOLATE by EDDY MERCKX

Quote: there'll be some who'd enjoy the washboard

Aye, but I haven't had one of those since the 90's.

Quote:it is indeed the best

If you're only going to export two things, you may as well be the best of it. Speaking of which, has anyone invented Cannibal Chocolate yet?

Quote:am i missing something somewhere?

Yeah - your maths is wonky. Divide offers/days.

He is doing more than you, but by less than one offer a day on average.