Find the first born virgin in your village, and sacrifice her to Cthulhu.

After this, you must summon Hastur the unspeakable by saying his name three times. To defeat Hastur, you must summon Beetlejuice using the same procedure. If you leave them to fight alone, one of them will win, but you need to defeat both, so fire a flare, and the pirates will join the battle.

Make sure there's at least six hundred metres between yourself and the demons before summoning the pirates, or you'll be caught in the blast radius of the cannons.

Once the pirates have defeated the demons, you must catch their essence in a jar. You must do this quickly, before Cthulhu has finished with his virgin. Get to Cthulhu with the jarred spirits while the virgin is still pure, and release them to defeat the Great Old One himself.

Then start your Clixgrid and you will win $10.

Quote:So what if Jesus turned water into wine. I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once.

--Sean Lock

Ah, the way to a woman's heart and all that...if music is the food of love, then it makes sense to play cutlery, right?

So why doesn't anyone stick around if I play the spoons on a first date (and I normally do, I can't help it, it's a character flaw - give me two spoons, and you know they're getting played)?

It is immoral to buy Belgian chocolate in bars. You're supposed to buy truffles.

I just did a survey about music equipment. It asked me what I owned, and then asked me how much I paid for my head phones.

I paid £1.99

The lowest option was Under £50.

I had another survey earlier in the day that asked me if I planned on spending more than £7 on a bar of chocolate. I live on plastic and sugar, but no. Are you insane in the mind? What sort of person spends £7 on a bar of chocolate? I can buy seven "sharing" (yeah, right, nobody shares a "sharing" bar of chocolate, but "greedy git bar" probably doesn't market well) bars of chocolate for that.

I had another survey that asked me with what frequency I bought clothes. Every day, two or three times a week, once a week, or less often. I actually buy clothes two or three times a decade, if I can help it.

But this isn't about the surveys. It's about the money. These seem preposterous to me. I'm not interested in the surveys, I'm interested in the fact that anyone thought these were valid questions to ask.

So is the recent not very good economic situation been caused by people maxing out credit cards to needlessly spend ridiculous amounts of money on utter crap? Is the world bankrupt because nobody knows how much anything costs anymore?

Funnily enough The Bould Rake - YouTube

Quote:
nginx: the configuration file /etc/nginx/nginx.conf syntax is ok
nginx: configuration file /etc/nginx/nginx.conf test is successful
nginx: configuration file /etc/nginx/nginx.conf test failed

-- Nginx

I did once. She did a bit about a dating site, and gave away enough to let you know which one she was using if you were smart.

I joined as soon as I'd narrowed it down, only to find out that the gig I was watching on TV was two years old.

$5-$10 a day is a pretty good wage in a lot of countries.

Quitting smoking is largely pyschological, and different things will work for different people. Fun Fact: Switch an e-cig users juice with a no nicotine variant, and most of them don't notice (you can, and should, try this at home, but give them a few weeks to get down from 30+ to under 18mg (or preferably, under 12mg) first (yay, nested parenthesis)), so nicotine replacement is bunk. Different things will work for different people.

I dealt with it (finally) by visualising a thing living inside me, and killing it by starving us both until it died first. It became a sado-masochistic ordure of spite. People lower on the schizoid scale may prefer having their friends say nice things.

But Shappi...I mean, she's the perfect woman. She's funny. She's smart. She's not bad looking. She's wealthy, and most importantly, she works away a lot.

The only thing more appealing would be a farmer with a bad cough.

Quote:Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you work the ground, it will no longer yield its crops for you. You will be a restless wanderer on the earth.

-- God

Traffic comes naturally, you just need plenty of content.

I can't run ads because I sell subscriptions where having no ads is an explicit feature of having a subscription...but I've certainly had the traffic for it since I had just a three figure member count with a dozen or so active members posting complete crap - kittens and tits.

A single person can put in a concerted effort to produce as much content as a dozen people posting casually. You just have to write about something that interests you so you can keep writing it until you've got a decent amount of content (a decent amount of content has four figures). The search engines find you.

Forget the black hat SEO high value keyword crap, it's a scam. You might get lots of traffic, but you'll have lots of traffic that leaves immediately when they see you're a cookie cutter. It's better to have sustainable traffic that comes back.

An RSS feed is more valuable than any time wasted on SEO crap.

Quote:The mole hil got is name in ancient time when people still believed in fairy tales

They're not fairy tales. You should watch the Trolljegeren documentary.

Our largest mountain is Galdhøpiggen at 8,100 ft

Vikings are single race. We do not recognise your modern boundaries.

Over the holidays, no new offers/tasks are made available. If you used all yours up on Friday, tough. If somebody else didn't, they may still have some left over.

Also, we're still just in the back end of the summer slump. If you're a parent, it ended last week. If you're not, it'll start to pick up any day now. (Parents get all the back to school stuff. The rest of you don't get anything until everyone has actually gone back to school).

Stoptober is an anual event aimed at encouraging smokers to quit. The theory being...something. I dunno, maybe it works.

This year, famous people are offering to text you with stuff to help you. Among the famous people is Shappi Khorsandi, who promises to comfort and flatter you.

Is anybody else tempted to start smoking, so they can quit, and get the promised comfort and flattering from Shappi Khorsandi?

Quote:Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eat all, sup all, pay nowt. And if ever thy does owt fer nowt, do it fer th'sen.

-- Yorkshire Proverb

USian holiday weekend. Doesn't matter where we are, all the providers are in the US.

Support Your Local Landfill. Buy American.

-- Paula Meehan